Wednesday, 29 July 2015
Tuesday, 28 July 2015
So it took me all of a day to source babies new 'toy' following a conversation at Boobie group on Monday.
Conversation goes like this:
Mum 1: yeh I have the jumperoo, I stick baby in 2 hours a day, I get everything done in that time including time for a cuppa and Loose Women (assuming she's referring to the daytime show and not her sexual preferences)
Mum 2: oh same. Fellulah (names changed to protect identity) looooves her Jumperoo, worth every penny, I can get showered and wash my hair and she's so happy.
I sat listening absolutely enthralled, with my mind transfixed on loose women, washed hair and 2 free hands to drink coffee and eat biscuits. I instantly logged into eBay and began hunting for my very own Jumperoo.
Tuesday I bought one! Collected and brought home to assemble. This girl needed no more convincing that my life was lacking in this must buy essential purchase!
So, out of the box, out with the 'destructions' and operation 'get this damn thing fixed up so I can wash my hair and have some Loose Women was underway.!' the beauty of it, was the distinct lack of need for even a screwdriver. This had to be the most simple straightforward assembly I've ever attempted. I've had more challenging Barbie dolls to detach from anchorings than this!
The 3 year old lad decided he wanted to help, he usually does when it involves fixing anything, and foolishly I thought he might be an asset. Not sure what goes through my mind sometimes.
I became lost in the assembling instructions whilst he picked up one of the legs and proceeded to make weird sword fighting noises. I should've known right then that my life was in danger, I should've put on my protective clothing and helmet like a soldier preparing for battle, but like the blase person I've allowed myself to become I sat there like a sitting duck, like an open target,until the sword fighting midget landed one right on my forehead..!
Clunk. Girly type squeal, the obligatory shouty mum appeared without delay 'you silly silly boy, what did you do that for, you've hurt mummy' 'owww' - seriously, what were you thinking!
Blood check- clear.
Conscious check- clear.
Seeing birds and stars check- less clear..!
I could feel the lump appearing as I sat there so I got up like some 80 year old falls patient to make sure I didn't go dizzy and headed to the freezer drawer where the ice bump packs were and decided to sit with Peppa Pig on my head for 10 mins.. That was the best of Peppa Pig I've ever encountered. Bloody hurt. Chuffing kids. Someone explain the benefits again.
I went to recheck the Jumperoo instructions to make sure I hadnt missed something in the 'precautions and considerations' section. You know, picture 3 with sword wielding toddler attacking parent helper with leg of said Jumperoo - dangers to consider in assembling. It wasn't on there! I'm writing to Fisher Price tomorrow to get it updated. Right after I contact Injury Lawyers For You to explain about my accident in the last 3 years...
Conversation goes like this:
Mum 1: yeh I have the jumperoo, I stick baby in 2 hours a day, I get everything done in that time including time for a cuppa and Loose Women (assuming she's referring to the daytime show and not her sexual preferences)
Mum 2: oh same. Fellulah (names changed to protect identity) looooves her Jumperoo, worth every penny, I can get showered and wash my hair and she's so happy.
I sat listening absolutely enthralled, with my mind transfixed on loose women, washed hair and 2 free hands to drink coffee and eat biscuits. I instantly logged into eBay and began hunting for my very own Jumperoo.
Tuesday I bought one! Collected and brought home to assemble. This girl needed no more convincing that my life was lacking in this must buy essential purchase!
So, out of the box, out with the 'destructions' and operation 'get this damn thing fixed up so I can wash my hair and have some Loose Women was underway.!' the beauty of it, was the distinct lack of need for even a screwdriver. This had to be the most simple straightforward assembly I've ever attempted. I've had more challenging Barbie dolls to detach from anchorings than this!
The 3 year old lad decided he wanted to help, he usually does when it involves fixing anything, and foolishly I thought he might be an asset. Not sure what goes through my mind sometimes.
I became lost in the assembling instructions whilst he picked up one of the legs and proceeded to make weird sword fighting noises. I should've known right then that my life was in danger, I should've put on my protective clothing and helmet like a soldier preparing for battle, but like the blase person I've allowed myself to become I sat there like a sitting duck, like an open target,until the sword fighting midget landed one right on my forehead..!
Clunk. Girly type squeal, the obligatory shouty mum appeared without delay 'you silly silly boy, what did you do that for, you've hurt mummy' 'owww' - seriously, what were you thinking!
Blood check- clear.
Conscious check- clear.
Seeing birds and stars check- less clear..!
I could feel the lump appearing as I sat there so I got up like some 80 year old falls patient to make sure I didn't go dizzy and headed to the freezer drawer where the ice bump packs were and decided to sit with Peppa Pig on my head for 10 mins.. That was the best of Peppa Pig I've ever encountered. Bloody hurt. Chuffing kids. Someone explain the benefits again.
I went to recheck the Jumperoo instructions to make sure I hadnt missed something in the 'precautions and considerations' section. You know, picture 3 with sword wielding toddler attacking parent helper with leg of said Jumperoo - dangers to consider in assembling. It wasn't on there! I'm writing to Fisher Price tomorrow to get it updated. Right after I contact Injury Lawyers For You to explain about my accident in the last 3 years...
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